NB; All names and places have been changed to protect the innocent (and the guilty!)
When I first came to the village, over 25 years ago, I was a stranger from London, and was keen to get to know the area. Two of the people I got to know in my first year were Tish and Dai, both very different, and both taught me about the valley. I wrote this little piece a few years ago, and I thought it would be nice to put it up as my first 'story' on this blog. I have re-edited it a little, to take out some of the more personal details, and you'll see why if you read on!
Dai is a farmer. His family have farmed in the valley for generations. He works two farms, both inherited. One on the hill, where he lives, and one in the valley. He has to pass my door daily, going between them, and as I was often walking down to the shops about that time, we gradually got to know each other. It started off with the odd wave, then he stopped along the road for some reason, and we fell to chatting.
Like everyone else from the village, he wanted to know where I came from, if I was married, what was my work, and why on earth I'd come here, on my own, without a job or a husband. The answer to that one is long and complicated, and I won't tell it here, but it is also true that I fell in love with the view over the valley from the kitchen window, and the house was so cheap that I could afford to buy it outright at the time.
Dai thought I was a bit strange - a woman on her own, doing her own thing, is still thought to be a bit odd round here, but he was very helpful in putting me in touch with people willing to 'do hobbles' whilst I was doing up the place.
He was, at the time, in his early forties and married to a well respected teacher, but had a roving eye. One day he offered to take me 'for a ride' in his van, and pointed out the mattress in the back. I declined.
Tish, was another friend I’d made by chance. . I often met her walking along the road, and we became friends. She knew everyone, and took it upon herself to educate me about valley life.
At the time she was a well developed unruly 14 yr old. Her mother had been young and unmarried when she'd had her. The story was that Tish’s father was killed in a car crash shortly before the couple were due to wed.
Tish’s mother had eventually settled down and found herself a husband , and had two younger daughters who everyone doted on, including Tish. Unfortunately Tish’s stepfather didn’t dote on her, and her mother was busy with her new family and a part time job at the local factory. She let Tish run wild.
She 'sort of' lived at home, a nice house on the council estate; but slept at her grandparents, in an old run down stone built house up the hill from me. Her grandparents were realistic people and could see what was happening, but they were too old and frail to subdue a rampant teenager.
I invited Tish in for tea one day, and it was the meeting of two different cultures. I was ‘foreign’ to her, but interesting, she wanted to know everything about everything, and I probably told her far too much! I had time for her, when no-one else seemed to, and she used to knock on the door quite often, with her grandparents’ blessing.
I became a surrogate mother cum aunt cum older sister with whom she felt free to talk about all the usual teenage troubles. Once in a while, I tried helping her with her homework, but she was never very good at school. She was one of those disruptive kids wanting attention and causing mayhem to get it.
She brought her friends up to see me sometimes, and even the succession of boyfriends, who were all decent enough local boys, spotty teenagers to me, but the source of hours of speculation and thinking up excuses to see them, at school or at the ‘hangout’ around the chip shop.
I made sure we had a giggly chat about ‘being careful’, and I always wondered whether she was already far more experienced that I had been at her age.
One day she told me she'd just been for a ride with Dai. She was full of pride that he liked her, and that he'd flirted with her in the back of the van. I wasn't sure whether anything had actually gone on, but next time he was passing, I stopped him and gave him hell. I had a ferocious temper in those days, and he got the lot; hardly got the chance to open his mouth!
He got the message, and to my knowledge at least, Tish never got invited for rides again, though he often stopped and chatted her up. If he saw me, he'd drive off sharpish, and it was years before we actually spoke again.
I got reasonably friendly with Tish's family, although I never really liked them, but they needed to know they could trust me, and I was useful for the odd lift into town.
When I went back to work in London for a few months, she even came to see me with her current boyfriend, and insisted on going to Harrods, just to be able to bring her mother a gift in one of those distinctive green and gold carrier bags. I had fun showing them around and doing some of those touristy things that Londoners never get around to, unless they have visitors.
Tish was losing her puppy fat and becoming less gawky; she would never be a model, but she was attractive, and as always, irrepressibly loud and bolshie. She never really liked studying, but in the end, she got a couple of GCSE's, and left school at 16. She got a job as a care assistant in an old people's home.....and she loved it!
We both began to have other things to do and didn’t see each other as often, but when she met Bob, I knew she had fallen in love and was pleased for her. She didn’t need me in the same way as she had when she was younger, and was not surprised that she hardly ever came round anymore.
I went up to her grandparent's house at Christmas and left her a card & present, and was amazed when they wouldn't talk to me, or let me see her. I did wonder whether she'd told too many tales about me to her grandparents; they wouldn’t have approved of my 'arty' way of life, my collection of boyfriends, or that I allowed her to smoke. I thought perhaps they had decided I wasn't a good influence after all, but assumed we'd bump into each other soon enough and I'd find out what it was about.
But we didn't. I didn't see Tish for a couple of months and by then I was a little hurt that she hadn't at least thanked for the christmas present. I saw her a little way down the road and waved. And she screamed obscenities at me! I was so taken aback I just stared blankly at her, and didn't make any effort to catch her up, and, that, was the end of our friendship. To this day, I don't know what she thought I might have done - she was shouting accusations at me but I couldn't hear what she said. In retrospect, I should have made more of an effort to clear up the misunderstanding, but I was too hurt!
I've seen her once or twice over the years, but we haven't spoken. Not even when we both found ourselves browsing on the same shelf in the local supermarket.
She's happily married to Bob, a typical welsh rugby player type and has four kids. She looks happy and even 'respectable'. I'd like to think that my friendship with her, in her teenage years helped to keep her out of trouble, but maybe I'm just kidding myself!
A year or so ago, a heating engineer's van stopped for me when I was in the next village, and a youngish man said hallo familiarly. I couldn't think who he was; then he started talking about 'that trip to London', and it clicked. He remembered every detail of that weekend.
Dai's marriage went west about 10 years ago. I heard about his divorce from others so I never really knew the ins & outs. We still wave when he passes and have the odd chat - and he still flirts. I interviewed him when I was researching local history a while back, and at one time, when he was selling his milk, I was one of his customers.
I hope you enjoyed this - if so please suscibe to this blog - there are more tales to come - when I get around to writing them!
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